Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I realised what happens to me now.
I don't care about the Director's List anymore
I don't care about scoring GPA of 4.
All I care is to get my diploma at the end of the day
Coz there are someone out there who give me this second chance to be here
Yea it hurts when you try so hard and end up failing or not getting what you want
I'm not born to be perfect
I don't want to be either
I just want to be the old redha where by I'm free to do what I want
I faced these failures all the times but never I lose hope on it
But hey when I think back all these failures is just a set back for me.
To bring down my spirit of going on.
After the "wanna be alone time" just now, my mind is thinking why I feel this way?
I just forget where I come from
I'm not from the rich family
I came here also someone sponser but then I just let them down if I continue to be this way
Giving up hope
Being selfish uh
Now I realised it's ok of people around me look down on me
But I know who I am
I'm gonna try the best that I can do
The rest I leave it up to HIM to decide..
Even though I almost teared,I feel soo much relieved.
My shoulders seems to be lighter now
I think the responsibility that I have shouldered since the 1st day in school has just been lifted up.
I need and I'm gonna change the way it has been.
I'm not gonna let you guys down no more
I hope it's not too late now
| Breaking Down 10:57:00 PM
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Monday, June 27, 2011
1st day of school reopen.
I'm losing the battle
Demolished
Dishearten is all I can say
Today got back the SCM paper
Shattered pieces
The result is not that bad
I just scrap through
I can't imagine getting all the results one by one this week
Seeing all merely pass and maybe fail
Don't know what else to motivate myself & look at the bright side
On the way home I'm asking this to myself
What is happening to me?
Why it turned this way?
Am I demanding for more?
Am I pushing myself too hard?
Still finding my soul
Hope is just what I need now
Help me to pull through this strongly
| Breaking Down 2:58:00 PM
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011
It is so disheartening my dear phone which has been with me for 4 years has gone
It cant be replaced or repaired
It really "sick & can't get well again"
Argh!!
Only god knows how my heart feel
I know people will say it is just a phone
Just buy a new phone
Since it's time for you to change your phone
Easy said than to be done
No money
No talk
Anyway,the phone has go through ups and downs with me
The memories
How sentimental I am uh
Treasure every thing that I had
I guess I understand how much that phone worth to me
I still remember the first time I had that phone
I need to pay an expensive plan just to get that phone
Until now, the plan ended and so does the phone..
Moving on
What is alive will be dead.
Goodbye my dear phone =[
| Breaking Down 6:14:00 PM
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Monday, June 20, 2011
I guess silence is better for now
I’m just tired of fighting
Can you tell me whether it is a big & huge mistake that a human being is always thinking?
I just can’t understand what is wrong with me thinking.
It is me who is thinking & it doesn’t even bother anyone.
I just need to have some inspiration and thinking also can’t is it?
Bosan!! Hidup ni
Think too much also wrong
Don’t think also wrong
Then what you want me to do?
I’m just so frustrated & sad.
I just want to be alone for the moment can?
| Breaking Down 11:18:00 PM
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Monday, June 13, 2011
The beginning week of holiday just started and I just faced a lot of obstacle today
If human being is sick, what will we do?
To visit the doctor
If hand phone is spoil?
Send it to the hand phone for service
If machine break down?
Worried and do nothing about it
That was what I’m facing now
One moment the machine was okay
Happily inserted my book when suddenly the machine show “This machine is temporarily out of service“ and I was shocked
Loss of words
The machine just “ate” my bank book.
It was a panicked situation and I don’t know what to do
Luckily having studied a little bit of banking, by some means know what to expect and do
I called the customer service and it took for awhile that they picked up the phone.
After hearing what he says it relieves a bit even though I still stunned by the incident
Now I got the fear to use the machine.
Convenience to use
But what if it is jammed yet again this time in the middle of night?
Conclusion is not to believe these advanced technology fully..
Yet again I’m down with my luck
1 point away
Makes a lot of difference to me
I thought that I can pass this test but then...
The hope is just gone
Finding the reason why I get into this way
My brother and father asked me not to give up
I’m just so disappointed
Even though I know I do fail in life for many times but then I don’t know why the feeling is just like it’s the end
I guess I put too much hope so that I can pass this test and finally move on
I guess I need more patience then...
Yes I will...
This is it!!
I’m going to trample this test...
Happy to make someone smile even though deep inside I’m sad and no one’s know it
I found it...
I push hard on myself so that I can fulfill the pressure on my shoulder
Another bad news that I received, argh don’t feel like talking about it
Just spoil my mood.
I don’t want to trust anyone...
It is easy for me to trust
To care & concern
To love people
But once the people break it
That’s the end of it
Then let me face it alone since the people that I trust just backstabbed me.
To the people out there who like to backstabbed people, please stop hurting other people’s feeling as you don’t know when you will be backstabbed by other people.
Have fun backstabbing & the feelling of being backstabbed...
| Breaking Down 8:17:00 PM
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Friday, June 10, 2011
Finally the term break is here
Haiz
Projects and projects is haunting my mind
I can’t have a breather.
The feeling is here again
Each time I try to defence the wall, it just topple to pieces
Lately my mind is twirling with all sort of questions which is unanswerable
I’m finding the emptiness in my heart
Ouh how it hurts when I keep thinking about it
But I know I can’t control everything in this world
Trying super hard to overcome this fear
I’ll never let my fears conquer me because I know in my heart what I can be
Keep holding on
No matter how hard it is to keep holding on,
I will hang in there till the end
| Breaking Down 2:09:00 PM
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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Have you ever think about my feelings?
How you ever think how much stress and the pain that I went through?
Selfish and self centered are just what you are
I just wonder if one day I were to go from this world will you be sad
Everytime you just annoyed me
Everytime I try to build my confidence there you're destroying everything
Each time my tears rolled when I think about it
The pain
The sorrow that I went through
You dont even care
Pushing harder is all I can
But I dont know how long this body can push it through
Blocking nose is on the way
I feel so agitated
Argh!!
I guess gonna get to sleep
| Breaking Down 9:17:00 PM
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Thursday, June 2, 2011
The feeling is soo great when you found it
I found you.
I wont never let you go
I just hope that Mum allows it
It would be better then.
Term break is coming
Looking forward but at the same time I dont want to do my project
Here comes all the report and projects haunting me during my term break
Ouh man!!!
Gonna chong for that
| Breaking Down 10:44:00 PM
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