Thursday, April 29, 2010
I think i have decided to meet ATE rather than going to the trial.
I know somehow i need to give up what i love to do.
It's hard but then this is what i choose.
I shall not have CCA rather than i lost someone that i care.
Today lesson is at 9am..
Haiz must wake up super early.
Tired!!!!
1 more day for me to meet ATE..
ATE i will miss yea =[
| Breaking Down 10:07:00 AM
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Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Once again i'm in the crossroad.
i dont know what to do.
Whether i should go and fulfill my passion or to just let it go.
ATE last day was on this friday. if I didnt meet her for the last time i might not be seeing her anymore.
My trial for netball fall on the same day. I just wish that i can cut myself into 2.
If i didnt go for my trial that's the end of my netball journey.
I cant last minute not meet ATE. She will get mad at me.
Haiz why in life we must sacrifice for the things that we loved to do?
I loved both of them. losing one of them is like life is meaningless.
I have to choose 1.
God please show me the way..
| Breaking Down 11:52:00 PM
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Sunday, April 25, 2010
April is coming to an end.
ATE is leaving me soon. Exactly 5 more days before she flys off.
2 more times only i get to meet her. haiz
Not motivated to do anything.
ATE leaving a month. but then i felt that she is leaving me forever.
Tomorrow will be the 2nd week of school. Now i dont feel like going back to school.
Without ATE, it feels like my life is meaningless.
| Breaking Down 9:23:00 PM
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Thursday, April 22, 2010
Hiaz so sad when ATE said this to me: Redha take care of yourself ar.
Why ATE? Why?
Why you leave me alone down here???
I get to see her only maybe 2-3 more times before she flies off
Argh!!!
I shall cherish every moment when with her.
Today i slack but then got study abit. still can sleep awhile in the library.
hahaha.. opps!!!
very cooling since the weather has been rather warm lately
Got to go..
| Breaking Down 9:14:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
2nd day of school.
Today is better than yesterday.
Getting all the lecture notes
More motivated to study other module as i get to know that most of the module i have learn before.
Power la. Hopefully i can score well
This morning 1st lesson is tutorial. We play the Human Bingo and i won the fastest.
Hahaha. Didnt expect to win. Paiseh la. It just make my day.
Hopefully tomorrow and the rest of the days will be better.
Seriously i miss all my BL mates..=[
| Breaking Down 10:15:00 PM
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Monday, April 19, 2010
Today is the 1st day of school.
New life.
New friends
New lecturers
New modules (some are aliens to me )
Yeah seems lost.
Furthermore i'm recovering from my fever, flu and my sore throat. Haiz
What a day to start up with.
I'm stuck with my oral presentation. Argh!! i hate that.
More money needed to spend on lecture notes and textbooks. Alamak!!!
Trying to settle down to
New environment
New facilities
WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD THAT YOU WAITED FOR REDHA!!=]
| Breaking Down 9:50:00 PM
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Now at least i can sleep in peace for the moment
For the past few days i have been having nightmares. Maybe too much stress
Yesterday come back from town and i sleep in the bus. I miss the bus stop. I wake up and realised that i have reach the bus stop
with a slow motion i decided to stop at the next bus stop and end up walking.
Haiz this has been my 2nd time.
It must be super tired until i cant open my eyes.
Reached home and found out that the table suppose to be at the hall was shifted to my room.
What the hell!!! Now my room is so squeezy with so much stuff. Argh!!!
Angry seh!! Tired already and now see the stupid stuff make me more irritated.
2 more days for orientation
not looking forward for it . Dont know why
I realised now that i have many responsibility that are on my shoulder.
I dont know what to do..
Seems that he cant be bother with this family anymore.
Each time i think it gives me headache.
Why cant they used their damn brain before doing something??Not them who face the consequences but ME!!!
The weather is bright and shine but my life seems to be darken
| Breaking Down 1:02:00 AM
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Sunday, April 11, 2010
Another crew leaving. Haiz!!
so when is my turn to leave or do i ever got the chance to leave?
So yea it so tiring..
But what can i do? I cant quit now since nobody will help me to pay all the expenses.
Tomorrow going down to new school to send all the documents. Hopefully everything will go smoothly.
I'm tired of hearing someone 's story which is all make up.
I just cant be bother to hear or to know what's going on.
Can see that the black clouds has moved and the sun is out.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It brings sunshine to my life.
| Breaking Down 11:52:00 PM
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Saturday, April 10, 2010
God is testing me with all the challenges but i know i had to be strong to face this.
Thank God you show me the light so that i can continue this journey.
Now i know who is really care about me.
A few days i have been under lots of stress thinking about my enrollment.
Asking help from someone but in the end make me like a FOOL
YOU ARE THE BRAINLESS AND HEARTLESS HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER MET IN THE EARTH!!! It's okay BITCH!!!
I DONT NEED YOUR HELP EITHER.
One day God will repay all the things that you have done to my family.
ENOUGH OF YOU CREATING ONE BY ONE OF THE PROBLEMS.
NOW YOU WANT TO DESTROY MY FUTURE.
YOU CAN LOOK DOWN ON ME BUT LET ME TELL YOU THAT I WILL NEVER EVER LET YOU BRING ME DOWN !!!!
Patience redha.. One day everything will be fine
| Breaking Down 9:03:00 PM
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Thursday, April 8, 2010
God please help me to go through this pain.
I'm at the crossroad once again
Too much for me to handle
Deadline for the documents needed will be next week and i just half way there. I still need some of the documents before i can send them.
I'm soooo worried.
I'm still have not yet accept the offer yet due to some problem.
Hopefully everything will go smoothly.
| Breaking Down 9:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Oh god!! What i'm going through is very hard.
I'm confused and somehow regret of continuing my studies.
It's just so much i need to go through alone.
Luckily Kak Nor was there for me to help me through this difficult times.
Thanks kak for the help..=]
Now problem starts arising again. None other than financial problems. Haiz
It just makes me think how am i suppose to face this all by myself.
They keep arguing and secretive between themselves. Ignoring each other.
What's up with tat?
Where is the trust?
I'm sick and tired of them
Arguing about little stupid stuffs.. like a small kid
OUH COME ON PEOPLE
BE MATURED CAN!!!
How may i suppose to concentrate on what i'm pursuing??
ENOUGH OF YOU GUYS WHO ALMOST DESTROY MY FUTURE!!
PLEASE GIVE ME CHANCE TO REACH MY DREAMS!!!
CAN???
People are happy for me about my results but then do my family are happy for me??
| Breaking Down 8:53:00 PM
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Monday, April 5, 2010
It keeps me thinking who am i now..
Just a nobody to anyone. Haiz
Today i'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone.
i just need to learn that no matter how hard it is, i need to let ATE go
Sooner or later she will leave me
Facing lots of problem recently.
So worry about the starting of school.
Am I regretting now??
This is what i waiting for and i have reach my dream. I wont let it slip away even though i need to sacrifice for myself
| Breaking Down 11:26:00 PM
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Sunday, April 4, 2010
Today is just not my day. Get 'whacked' by customers.
Idiot.1st customer came act as if she super rich. relax ar. She just spolit my mood.
Whatever people!!!
2nd customer was super good but then she spill a large ice lemon tea. i dont mind she spill but then why must she spill it at my counter?Argh!!! Luckily it's not peak at that time. i need to clean up everything.
The worst thing is that ATE is leaving AGAIN but this time 1 MONTH or maybe FOREVER..
WHY??? Leaving me alone here.. Letting me get bully by them.
How could u do this to me?
Yesterday found out that my money is missing AGAIN at work!!! dont know who the culprit.
Damn!! WHY the person do this to me?
I'm not that rich.
YOU ARE JUST HEARTLESS AND BRAINLESS HUMAN BEING..
I'm just being patience here..
hopefully you will get what u did to me..
| Breaking Down 10:11:00 PM
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Friday, April 2, 2010
Am i dreaming right now?
i just cant believe what i'm reading and what happen to me..
People who i think hate me wish my birthday and asking me whether i make it through to the next level.
Friend who has been long time never talk to me has talk to me today.
What a great day.
Maybe God has answer my prayer somehow to ease the suffering that i had.
Thank u God. love you so much
but then i know i'm being a bad girl and i dont deserve this
A brand new chapter of my life is going to begin.
Welcome to a new life redha.
I need your help god to give me strength so that i can face all this challenges strongly
| Breaking Down 1:04:00 AM
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